It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Paper or Plastic?
It's the only question remaining for Mets fans.  You see, if you are accustomed to donning a paper bag to, the 2010 season might convince you to fasten a plastic one over your head and then tighten it until the sweet kiss of oblivion ends this torture.  Of course, joking about suicide on a website devoted to this violent and depraved team might be in poor taste. But where else is there to go?

While other teams race for the playoffs, the Mets are too busy bailing their players out of jail.  All you need to do to understand the story of the Mets is open your (in my case out of town edition of the) NY Times.  The NY media never misses a Mets mix-up, but it's hard to neglect the Met's recent boners: a pitcher takes a $300 taxi, the shortstop disagrees with the manager about why he makes boneheaded errors, typical stuff.  There you'll find a note about how sabermetricians try to guess which teams will make the playoffs with 50 or so games left; guess what, science is telling us the Mets have no chance at the playoffs. 

Then you'll see another article on how the Padres bullpen has lifted the team to the top of the NL, specifically highlighting the contributions of one Heath Bell, or as Mets fans know him, Adkins-Johnson. This passage that caught my eye should be enough to get the flavor:
Bell made little impact in parts of three seasons with the Mets, who traded him in 2006 for pitcher Jon Adkins and outfielder Ben Johnson. The Mets had urged Bell to use a longer stride in his delivery, which he said never felt right. The Padres had a different perspective. 

Darren Balsley, the pitching coach, said he had watched Bell closely for years, impressed by the way Bell’s short stride seemed to make the ball explode from his hand. He worked with Bell on refining his natural mechanics, instead of revamping them.
 The Mets just weren't Balsley enough with Bell. They can't do anything right. Message received.

Then you get to the big news: the Mets "closer" Frankie Rodriguez beat up his relative on Mets' property. While there is no truth to the rumor that so-called K-Rod first tried to strike out his girlfriend/common law wife's father, but only managed to walk him, still, it hasn't been a good month for our Venezuelan Mets.

The Mets are almost never content to be losers on the field; they excel at off-the-field failure too.  It says a lot about my character too, that I can't stop thinking about how the Wilpon's could use these repeated violent and inappropriate to get free of this alleged future felon's enormous and pointless contract.  If Madoff left Fred any money for a couple of lawyers, I say fuck trading him--void the contract.

This team is an embarrassment on the field and off the field. And probably under the field and over the field if that were possible.  Only four or so years after the K*zmir trade wrought sweeping changes to the Wilpon's approach to running the Mets--at least we thought so--we are at that point again with this dysfunctional and pitiable organization.  If you have hope that it can only get better, remember, this is the organization that had to be told to display Mets related items in its own brand new stadium (you know, the one effectively paid for by taxpayers after its sponsor turned out to be one of the biggest criminals in the worst financial crisis of our lifetimes).  The induction of the felonious, domestically violent Gooden and Strawberry into the Met hall of fame may turn out to be the 2010 season highlight.  Every time you think it's the last straw, it isn't.



  • At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Kate said…

    "And probably under the field and over the field if that were possible. "

    What a refreshing and delightful take, on THE hackneyed phrase of the 2010 season!

  • At 3:38 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    The mets are an embarassment in parallel dimensions

  • At 3:36 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    Yay! OK-Rod completes my bingo card with the preposterous season-ending injury!

  • At 12:23 AM, Blogger KristenH said…

    Hey I still love your blog but the Mets situation is so pathetic I can't even laugh about it anymore. It is just painful but not surprising and unless they have a big offseason which I thought they would need to have a big one months ago I seriously don't see things getting better or Mets fans coming back. I do anticipate Jerry to finally get fired maybe around September 16th since that was when Howe was told he wasn't coming back. But it is going to take much more than a new manager for me to have any hope for this team again. I am still praying that somehow someway the Wilpons will have that big offseason and sign Lee or Crawford and possibly done. After all those guys are difference makers and didn't they say they didn't want to spend last year because there weren't any difference makers? And believe it or not I still believe next year could be the Mets best chance to win again for quite some time given the status of the other teams in the division. I really do think they better take that into consideration and not try to go with the kids because if they go with the kids it will take years before they are competitive again especially given Florida, Washington and Atlanta and the youth on those teams.

  • At 12:37 AM, Blogger KristenH said…

    Sorry I mean to write I hope they sign Lee, Crawford or possibly Adam Dunn. I am just hoping for a big offseason real badly to finally give me hope again as a fan and that means more than a manager because I am hearing that is the only move the Wilpons might make. If they do only hire a manager it better be someone like Ozzie Guillen because based on how the team is currently constructed Ozzie is probably the only guy who could have success with the team.

  • At 9:14 AM, Anonymous >=O Met fan >=O said…

    Time to take this organization out back behind the shed once and for all. Just put them all out of their misery. I can only pray at this point that the Won'tpons decide to move the franchise far, far, away. Isn't Las Vegas looking for a team? They should fit in perfectly in a city known to inspire tragedy, despair and heartbreak.

  • At 11:48 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    Kristen , Ozzie is the only man who could make this team more hilarious, I'll give you that. But I wonder whether they'll be opening the pocket books for anything this winter. I wonder if any fans will be left to care.

    OMet fan, Las Vegas has standards.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.