Mets Doubled Up in Pain in De-Mota-vating Series Loss to Sudsie Sluggers

Is the Mets cup half empty or half full?

This weekend, the Mets were thoroughly bested by the Milwaukee Brewers, a team that runs sausage races before games and occasionally supplies ballpark rectal exams. If only the Kaz Matsui case was caught in time, but I digress. Not even Guilerma Mota could save the Mets today.


Allow me to paint you a word picture. It's Sunday. Taxes are due, but you can't understand a goddamned word about how to deduct for your IRA if your wife is covered by a retirement plan. You'd like nothing better that to punch a passing accountant if the chance presents itself. The world is going to hell. The Mets have squandered a lead of 6-2 after $cot Bora$ client and future pain in the ass OP has said lead pounded out of him by the Beer Bellies. By now its clear to Mets fans that today we got Ollie's Folly not Oliver's Army. Enter former Met Guillermo Mota, and as always, enter hope for whomever opposes him. It's the eighth and Mota struggles with the responsibilities of a 9-7 Brewers lead, tossing up and away balls with stubborn insistence, as only a de-juiced Mota can. Then, with runners at second and third with nobody out, Luis Castillo hits a grounder to Prince Fielder. I'm not sure where Brady Clark was running when Fielder stopped munching on his feed bag long enough to step on first base and throw home in time to double up Clark, but if Brady was running in the general direction of the minors, perhaps he should continue to follow his instincts until he is in his rightful AAA place. Stunned with this turn of events, Mota persevered and continued to walk Mets, trying to give his old buddies a chance back into the game. But noble Carlos Delgado would have none of that, and proceeded to pop up ball three, something they tell you never to do with the bases loaded. Mota pumped his fist, clearly dejected.

Other than that, the Mets were clearly not good enough on this day to best Jeff "What's for" Suppan, Brian "Sburnin' Sdown the" Shouse" or the "Roid Crew" of Mota and Gagne. Nor could they contain the mighty offensive styings of such players as Corey"I wear my sunglasses at night" Hart, or Gabe "I believe you have my "Kapler. The Brewers may very well be for real. A side note: the clubhouse barber has his hands full with Eric Gagne and Derrick "Squeal Like a Pig" Turnbow in the same bullpen. I mean, take a shower fellas!


Also, the magic 8 ball is not a recognized method for deciding close calls at first, Ed Montague.

This game was so dispiriting that I can't even process news of Mr Not-Devastated straining his hammy, or T.J Simers' reports that Andruw "Tubbo" Jwuones is indeed a chubby waste of space.


Time for a grueling off-day, and then hopefully a better showing against the highly motivated Nationals, led by Ct. Red Ass and the Thrilledge.


things are bad at Shea now, but at least fans don't have to put up with disembodied heads floating around.