It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Br*ve Old World

Smoltz Never Dies

Get the feeling that John Smoltz would rise up from a molten grave to choke the life out of the Mets, like a Turner-ator? Smoltz was his typical Satanic Majesty and the Br*ves ruined Johan Santana's Atlanta debut. Poopeyface emerged on cue to serve up his usual BPSGB (big pressure situation gopher ball) and the world was again much like we remember it before 2006. No one is conceding anything, but I sometimes still scan the Mets dugout for Art Howe involuntarily. And if it wasn't clear before, the Br*ves more often then not beat the Mets in Turner Crypt because their stars, Smoltz and Larry Jones, simply want it more than our stars do. You can see it in their oily baby eating grins as they congratulate each other in the dugout each time they finish dispatching the Mets. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

"It was a tough sky." So said (he's no) Angel (in the outfield) Pagan after he blew a catchable ball allowing Yunel Escobar's run-scoring double in the third-inning by playing too shallow and then stopping under something that did not turn out to be the baseball. Later, in the fourth, Pagan, David Wright and Jose Reyes couldn't bring themselves to call off each other on Jeff Francoeur's double. This following Carlost Delgado's base-running blunder in the fourth when he was doubled off first by center fielder Mark Kotsay.

Are the Mets already too bored to keep their heads in the game? Too bad the guys making these mental errors are vets, otherwise Willie could, like, say something to them. You see, I don't like mental errors, at least not in bunches. Not from guys who should be fired up to send a message to their main rivals, and who should be well-prepared to take some pitches from the Br*ves tough #1 and 2 pitchers, get into their pen, and do some damage. It's too early to call this complacency, but when the time comes I won't be shy. It gets late early around here and I'd like to see some fire and purpose.

As it was, the Br*ves did all the little things a team does when it is paying attention, including the game ending play where future Met Teixeira guarded the line, came up with a scorched probable game tie-er over the first base bag off the bat of Brian Schneider, flipped it to Atlanta closer Soriano who did not stare at butterflies or play with his perm, but instead got to the bag in plenty of time to record the final out.

I hate losing to the Br*ves on any day. But I really hate losing with our best pitcher on the mound, who despite a few kick saves and a display of lumber, was not able to record the W he so deserved. And all this with an off-day coming to wail and gnash my teeth through.

Matt (Me) Wise (Magic) went off for his MRI after developing a bruise on his forearm. Reminding me that Omar did little to improve what was, when it counted, a very shaky pen last year, other than give a guy named Register meal money for a few weeks.

A sole happy note: I saw the game in the lovely company of (neglected) LA area Metsfans, at a gathering expertly arranged by the internet's own Keyser. A pleasant time was had by all, other than the watching the actual game part.

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  • At 12:12 AM, Anonymous cvertana said…

    After the first game of the series, we agreed that it should never be spoken of again. It saddens me that your heart and soul had to endure looking back at this star-crossed affair, yet life is so much richer with your biting and insightful commentary. I regret that A Face Named Poopy doesn't regret his ill-fated pitch which helped preserve the oily baby eaters' starter Max Cady's victory. Wonderful that you could at least meet up with Keyser and some other Met faithful.

  • At 9:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ha. They want it more? That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I am sure Julio Franco wants it more than most but that ain't gonna help him hit a 95 mph heater. "They just want it more" is just a lazy excuse.

  • At 10:07 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    A face named poopey. Har!

    Anonymous: What's your competing hypothesis then? It isn't that Atlanta is more talented than the Mets, not anymore. The br*ves, with the same core of stars and manager, more often than not outperform (beat) the mets in head to head meetings at turner. The br*ves have consistently relied on stars Larry and Satan over this period. There has to be some explanation for why they always raise their game to play the Mets, while the Mets make crucial mental errors. That's not just about talent. If anyone is lazy its not me, I did my job as a fan, even having two beers before noon on a sunday.

  • At 11:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Is there any way to subscribe to your blog via RSS feed?

    I like your blog, it makes me chuckle from time to time.

  • At 12:26 PM, Anonymous cvertana said…

    See, chuckling is good - glad that IMFM is being appreciated! I'd say it's more than chuckling. Reading it is an experience that I can equate to attending a class that combines both kindergarten and PhD curriculum.

    I think the Mets want to win badly. Not sure what the problem is. It seems like they don't have the fundamentals as second nature as the coaching on the Br*ves seems to provide, for starters. Also, they can't stay focused. Willie is starting to show me that he has too much of a favoritism kind of system. Of course, it's only human nature, but Omar and him need more to be on the same page and the RIGHT page. I think Gotay was an excellent player and it was wrong to cut him loose and bad strategy for Willie to make those comments publicly - "one-dimensional",etc. Not only does it hurt a good guy who worked hard and loyally to the Orange and Blue, but it sends the wrong message to the current and future roster members. They have to wonder if and when Willie will throw them under the bus, both career-wise and in public statements. Why would anyone want to work their tails off for a guy like that? As Cerrone rightly points out sometimes, we're not behind-the-scenes to be in-the-know, but there COULDN'T have been an upside to Willie making those statements. He definitely fired up Gotay, which was moronic and considering he seemed like a good guy, Willie also lost the moral high-ground.

  • At 12:26 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    RSS feed? i will run this by my technical support gerbils. I don't see why you should be denied the occasional chuckle.

  • At 12:38 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    i agree with Cver 100% above. Willie's statements are puzzling.

    As noted above, I have directed my TechSupport rodents to link this doohickey up to "Feedburner." I clicked this and that and there you are.

    Mind you I have no idea what this means. I hope someone will be nice enough to tell me if it works. I'm looking at you, anonymous.

  • At 3:30 PM, Anonymous help-a-rascal said…

    wow, anonymous is a schizo.

    here, now, is helper's index.

    5 (number of icy glares ruben gotay will direct toward willie randolph this season after rapping a run-scoring base hit.)

    5.4-1 (ratio of married couples comprised of two first cousins to married couples comprised of second cousins in the turner field stands.)

    "i'm gonna fuck alla you!" (overheard outside the atlanta players' stadium exit, uttered by one larry jones, surrounded by his four sisters, after the braves victory over the mets, while his proud father approvingly looked on.

    78 (percentage of atlantans who think "ow, my balls" is a real show, and who have spent more than 30 min. attempting to find the station on which it airs.)

  • At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Keyser said…

    Thanks for the shout. It was great seeing you and the other local Mets fans. I hope you can make it next week.

    If you are reading this and in LA, be sure to see our fan group

  • At 4:55 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    rascal, nice. That should become a regular feature on your imaginary blog. But you inserted Larry into our generation's citizen cain and I'm not sure how i feel about that.

    keyser, i can post a link/promote the group more if you think it would help. The group pic looks like we were watching vidal sasson on the tv, but I think you certainly chronicled the waitress situation well ;)

  • At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The RSS feed worked. Thank you! You are going off like a Vince Coleman lit firecracker heading straight for a defenseless child!

  • At 11:57 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    that's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me, anonymous.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.