Maestro Santana Conducts Nationals Anthem*

Mystery of baseball: why did the Gnats take their emblem from jeans?


Other than the Great Santana, I don't want to say that the Mets earned this victory because the Nats interior defense (reminiscent of the US interior defense) did so much to give it away starting I think with Zimmerman's errant throw (he and Wright have this in common) off of Church's cue ball shot. First, the baseball gods must have been confused by all the Mets wearing Washington's Wrangler jeans insignia, because the ball bounced the mets way. Second, Zimmerman should know you don't pick up a pool ball and throw it.

The Mets' offense barely got the ball off the infield grass, but we'll take the win. Highlights include Angel Pagan snapping on the basepaths and continuing on to third once he took second. The Mets are finally getting the running game going. And Johan Santana's 7 innings of pitching and slugging are a nice change. We won't mention anything about Santana's batting average (higher than Delgado and tied with Beltran) because that would be tasteless. Dirty Sanchez made it through and inning with his 0.00 ERA magically still intact, and Billy Goat did not implode upon being asked to pitch in a non-save situation.

One misguided column this morning assumes the conceit of an open letter, asking Jose Reyes whether he'd prefer modelling his career after (the equally loathsome) Jeter or Rey Ordonez. I want to be clear, this column is only misguided in its worship of the overrated Spankees shortstop who had everything handed to him and never once had to struggle as his championship rings were purchased on credit. If Reyes became Jeter, I'd move to wherever it is the Royals practice their craft and root for the ghost of George Brett. Walls is, regretably, dead on in his assessment of Reyes. He is even persuasive in laying the Mets Malaise at Reyes' fancy feet:

Through 19 games last year, you were hitting .329. Your on-base percentage, all important for a leadoff hitter, was .421. You had scored 21 runs, drawn 13 walks, stolen 12 bases in 14 attempts. The Mets' record at the time was 13-6, and that was not coincidence. It was cause and effect.

This year, you are hitting only .280. You have drawn a mere four walks, stolen only three bases in five tries, scored only 12 runs. Your OBP, .313, is worse than all but three other NL leadoff hitters. Even Rickie Weeks, batting .192 at the top of the Brewers' lineup, is getting on base more often than you.
As a result, the Mets are struggling, a mere game over .500 going into last night's game against the Nationals.

In large part, this is because you, Jose Reyes, are not doing your job, which is to create runs at the top of the batting order and prevent runs on the field. You can't do the first if your body isn't on base and you can't do the second if your head isn't in the game.

The other day in Chicago, your decision to throw home on what should have been an inning-ending double-play ball led directly to the grand slam that blew the game open.

Not doing job. Head not in the game. That could go for a lot of Mets, but if the shoe fits, Jose, wear it. What have we come to when Wallyboy is making sense?

Here's what my letter to Jose would look like if I wrote it during last night's game. Letters would of course, be cut from various magazines and pasted to scraps of paper I collected at the public library.
dear Jose,
FIRST PITCH SWINGING AFTER THE PITCHER WALKS THE TWO BATTERS AHEAD OF YOU WHO JUST HAPPEN TO BE THE 8 AND 9 HITTERS AND ONE OF WHOM IS A PITCHER. WHat the F*&^(( are you thinking? Do you think? ARRRGGHHHH. Grinning son of a. Then when you come up again, to show you don't learn lessons, you swing at the very first offering. You may be tremendously talented, but you are a real dumb ass on the field.
Argghh. F**k.

***
Ahem, the subtext of Jolly Wally's latest is fascinating:

But on too many days, we wonder if you will ever keep yours [live up to your promise]. I sincerely hope so. Over the past two seasons, the fortunes of the Mets have risen and fallen with you. Since 2006, they have gone from the presumed best team in the league to the official second-best team in the division. Likewise, you have gone from one of the best players in the game to no better than the third-best shortstop in your division.

I have to ask where this "I sincerely hope so" bit came from. Wallace Matthews expects us to believe that he hopes Reyes reaches his potential and by extension, the Mets win? Did the editor add this? Is it just posturing to make the "column" "work"? We all know Wall to Wall Mathews hopes only for dead babies, seal clubbings, chapped lips for those with cleft lips, and failure where the Mets are concerned.

***
It looks like Julie Donaldson and Amanda Cole got out just in time.
Jocelyn Peirce better watch her ass.

***
The evil legend of Mr Not Devastated grows.

***
Finally, an interesting argument.


*title provided by Cver's Bacon-Bits: "Give Your Salad that Meaty Taste"