Cubs Chew Up Mets at Wrigley

A helpful guide to Aaron Heilman

There are only a couple things that can result from an encounter with bears. Mauling is one of them, and the Mets could not find a tree to climb up last night, in fact they went with the "stay perfectly still" theory, and did absolutely nothing against Cubs pitching. This time the Cubs did the clubbing. Carlos Zambrano didn't give the Mets much hope and Errant Hellman and Jorrible So-so earned their nicknames tonight, the latter two being unable to contain the awesome might of Ronnie Cedeno or the fearsome skill of Felix Pie (.143). If you can't get those guys out, well. Last year it was Willie-proof the bullpen, this year it's Bullpen proofing the Willie--you can't blame Willie for asking Heilman to be able to do his job. However, Willie will no doubt be the last one to get sick of the Heilman show and keep trotting (like a goat) out there in important situations.

Their pasting of the Mets has some Cubs thinking about the World Series, and maybe they should be.

The Cubs are only paying this Fukadome fella $7 million?

This team isn't bad, but this ain't 2005 or 2006. Folks are bound to be disappointed with the performance of the Santanized Mets, seeing as how right now they assuredly are not the class of the National League. The Mets aren't "my kid lives in my basement and works at a take out restaurant" disappointing as they were in Willie's early days, they're now in "I put my kid through Harvard and he's still out dealing drugs" territory. Willie is going to have some difficult questions to answer.

Steve Phillips over on ESPN, who was to GMing what Joe Morgan is to broadcasting, must have loved this game. No Met fan will ever know what he said since we all switched over to SNY or muted the tv before skillsets could make his first asinine comment. With dopes like these, ESPN fits clowns in a broadcast booth like they were phone booths.

Ah well, "Figueroa , bring a mitt, and hope for a split"!

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Hate Update: The Andruw Jwunes suckfest continues, and is now drawing national attention.