Mets Maine-tain Victory Win Series Despite Another Pen-tastrophy! *

The Mets evened out the season series with the Br*ves at just the right time, sending the banjo-plucking bastards back to their off season varmint skinning huts in shame. It seems like just yesterday that the Atlanta club had a hex on the boys in Blue and Orange, but that sacrificial voodoo chicken has flown.

Reyes is showing signs of coming out of his mini-slump, and Johny Maine pitched like he wants to see the first inning of a playoff game. With the fragile Old Duque's ever tenuous status, it helps to have a "backup plan" of the level of Maine. Still, there is a certain uncertainty haunting the Mets rotation: old guys who perform well IF the stars(and starts) align. Fans love El Duque but he is just not reliable. It's like having a great dad that doesn't show at your birthday party at the roller rink cause he pulled something cleaning out the gutters on Sunday. That's what you have to deal with if you sign the ancients, as the makers of the coming Indiana Jones movie will find out. It can be a glorious gamble, but some days, well, that boulder catches up with you.

And then there's Mota, the name that strikes fear in the hearts of every Mets fan. His failures are so numerous that I spend his warm-up tosses wishing that Mike Piazza had caught Mota when he chased the little bastard through that spring clubhouse (in an effort to get his grown man on after taking the Clemens beaning like it was some sand in his shorts) all those years ago. There are no more Armando comparisons to be made, no more steroids jokes to be hatched. Just resigned disappointment. And re-signed disappointment. As many fans have pointed out, if Heilman and Feliciano don't shit the mound, maybe it never gets to Mota.



*title and promotional considerations provided by Cver's Libertarian Check Cashing Hut: "We'll Never Sell Your Personal Information to the Government"