The Curse of ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball Continues
As Joe Morgan and Jon Miller noted, ESPN's Sunday night baseball broadcasts are at the long end of a precipitous slide in quality and content that begin back when Red Barber did the play by play for the very first televised baseball game back in 1939. Ok, well they did mention the part about Red Barber.
Actually to cut them some slack, the ESPN baseball himbos put together a relatively informative, mostly inoffensive little show tonight. We learned that the Mets have never even once this season put together a winning streak of more that 4 games. Morgan even got off a decent line about sliding into first: "I never saw Carl Lewis dive at the finish line." I never saw Carl Lewis inject himself with performance enhancing drugs, but that's besides the point. Morgan thinks Pedro's mere presence will help the Mets, apparently by energizing the "Latin community." Care to explain that one Joe? Is it because of the literature Pedro will hand out at the games, or the posters he will hang? Because he's a good dancer?
This game was lost the instant a 400lb David Wells bunted on the Mets defense for a base hit. You can't win and let that happen. It says that in the bible somewhere I think. Actually maybe it was really over when Moises Alou struck out in the 5th with the sacks drunk on a 69 mph curve. Or, strike that, it was definitely over when the entire Mets pitching staff could not manage to discover the third out of the 6th inning. Whatever, Maine looked good until the wheels came off, but only 3 of the 6 runs were earned thanks to the wooden (or tin) play of Jeff "If I Only Had a Glove"Conine and Lastings "make it a triple" Milledge.
I thought the Mets had a chance when in the 5th, LA's Kemp, after chasing his tail at second, killing the Dodger's rally and keeping the Mets within one run was mercifully picked off 3rd base before he screwed up again, or when John Maine (with his eyes open) beaned eternal offensive force and swell guy Jeff Kent. And it turned out not to matter much that Alomar Sr. is an awful third base coach, throwing up a late stop sign, then actually finding himself between the ROOk and third base as Milledge tried in vain to get back. I know it says somewhere that the 3rd base coach should never get between the runner and the bag. The Rook has looked ok in the 2 hole, but the team was really cookin' with Castillo there, so I think that's the way Willie needs his gut to tell him to go.
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By the way, for any worldwideleader producers who may be reading, neither myself nor any of the brotherhood missed the segment in your national broadcast revealing the secrets of Rick Peterson's mystical triangle of pitching. Duly noted. You should know, as you look over your shoulder, that the triangle is intellectual property, property that has been paid with by blood over the centuries that we of the Jacketed Brotherhood have guarded its three profound sides. The relationship between "physical conditioning," "mental toughness" and "fundamentals" is not meant for public consumption. It is certainly not meant for Joe Morgan. While the sacred triangle might be "too complicated" for Morgan, we will be defending it with our lives if necessary. If you think, ESPN, that you will burn in hell for the "Budweiser Hotseat" feature or Stuart Scott's speaking parts, well my friends, you ain't seen nothing yet.
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Joe Morgan, Marlon Anderson (pictured) wants you to call him asap!
***
What is up with those awful AT&T "your world is wireless" commercials? The two ads feature the wonderful nightmare we have to look forward to: mobile phone use on airplanes and in movie theaters. Are they serious? Why not show a surgeon taking a call in the middle of a brain operation, or the wonderful talking while on the toilet phenomenon? Maybe they explain themselves in this 800 page iphone bill somewhere. Hmmm. Not clear what horrific future AT&T has planned for us, but suffice to say, it is the opposite of what we want.
***
This wasn't what I would call a discouraging loss. I mean, we have to let LA win once in a while so the Dodgers will come back next year, right?
Actually to cut them some slack, the ESPN baseball himbos put together a relatively informative, mostly inoffensive little show tonight. We learned that the Mets have never even once this season put together a winning streak of more that 4 games. Morgan even got off a decent line about sliding into first: "I never saw Carl Lewis dive at the finish line." I never saw Carl Lewis inject himself with performance enhancing drugs, but that's besides the point. Morgan thinks Pedro's mere presence will help the Mets, apparently by energizing the "Latin community." Care to explain that one Joe? Is it because of the literature Pedro will hand out at the games, or the posters he will hang? Because he's a good dancer?
This game was lost the instant a 400lb David Wells bunted on the Mets defense for a base hit. You can't win and let that happen. It says that in the bible somewhere I think. Actually maybe it was really over when Moises Alou struck out in the 5th with the sacks drunk on a 69 mph curve. Or, strike that, it was definitely over when the entire Mets pitching staff could not manage to discover the third out of the 6th inning. Whatever, Maine looked good until the wheels came off, but only 3 of the 6 runs were earned thanks to the wooden (or tin) play of Jeff "If I Only Had a Glove"Conine and Lastings "make it a triple" Milledge.
I thought the Mets had a chance when in the 5th, LA's Kemp, after chasing his tail at second, killing the Dodger's rally and keeping the Mets within one run was mercifully picked off 3rd base before he screwed up again, or when John Maine (with his eyes open) beaned eternal offensive force and swell guy Jeff Kent. And it turned out not to matter much that Alomar Sr. is an awful third base coach, throwing up a late stop sign, then actually finding himself between the ROOk and third base as Milledge tried in vain to get back. I know it says somewhere that the 3rd base coach should never get between the runner and the bag. The Rook has looked ok in the 2 hole, but the team was really cookin' with Castillo there, so I think that's the way Willie needs his gut to tell him to go.
***
By the way, for any worldwideleader producers who may be reading, neither myself nor any of the brotherhood missed the segment in your national broadcast revealing the secrets of Rick Peterson's mystical triangle of pitching. Duly noted. You should know, as you look over your shoulder, that the triangle is intellectual property, property that has been paid with by blood over the centuries that we of the Jacketed Brotherhood have guarded its three profound sides. The relationship between "physical conditioning," "mental toughness" and "fundamentals" is not meant for public consumption. It is certainly not meant for Joe Morgan. While the sacred triangle might be "too complicated" for Morgan, we will be defending it with our lives if necessary. If you think, ESPN, that you will burn in hell for the "Budweiser Hotseat" feature or Stuart Scott's speaking parts, well my friends, you ain't seen nothing yet.
***
Joe Morgan, Marlon Anderson (pictured) wants you to call him asap!
***
What is up with those awful AT&T "your world is wireless" commercials? The two ads feature the wonderful nightmare we have to look forward to: mobile phone use on airplanes and in movie theaters. Are they serious? Why not show a surgeon taking a call in the middle of a brain operation, or the wonderful talking while on the toilet phenomenon? Maybe they explain themselves in this 800 page iphone bill somewhere. Hmmm. Not clear what horrific future AT&T has planned for us, but suffice to say, it is the opposite of what we want.
***
This wasn't what I would call a discouraging loss. I mean, we have to let LA win once in a while so the Dodgers will come back next year, right?
posted by I.M. Forme @ 10:48 PM
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