Mets Entirely De-MOTA-vated, Drop Yet Another Game to Phillies
"Can't anybody here play this game?"
FIELDING
Errors: Lo Duca (8, throw), Reyes 2 (10, fielding, throw), Alou (2, fielding), Castillo (4, throw), Conine (5, fielding).
Fresh off of a game that the MLB decided not to share with national baseball fans comes a Mets game that we wish was never shown in public. Burn the tapes. Then light the torches and trap Guillermo Mota in a windmill. We can’t blame Ron “Mea” Kulpa or any of the umpiring staff. Nor can we blame Jimmy Rollins for his obvious use of witchcraft. Or voodoo as Gary suggested. The Mets are just flat out handing the Phillies a playoff spot.
I would flip out, but I’ve seen this so many times before I'm almost desensitized. Joe Smith, back in the majors, must have wondered if they sent him to the wrong team; surely this bunch of clowns isn't the big league club!
As for Mota, the Ass of the Mets, instead of burying him in the bullpen backyard, Willie just continues to throw winnable games down the shit hole. Willie defenders will point to the fact that the whole entire bullpen sucks. Yes, but Mota swallows. Unfortunately it seems that Willie is the last to know that Mota does not belong on a winning Mets team. Real Mets take performance degrading drugs, just ask Keith Hernandez! Just kidding, Keith, you know I love you.
At least that newly wed couple got a lot for their money. 3 hours of “Bad News Bears baseball” and… they got to see the entire Mets pitching staff to boot! The groom probably irrevocably compromised his marriage, but he got to touch Keith Hernandez and take a picture with the SNY booth. And all brides look hotter when they are Metsfans.
Why is this team so prone to losing its focus? It's a question Omar has to be asking himself as he tosses and turns in bed tonight.
The Mets Recipe for Disaster included:
Physical errors
*Moises Alou, a charter member of what Keith Hernandez termed the “One Hand All Stars” blows a catch in the out field.
*Castillo and Conine stinking up the right side of the infield
Mental errors
*Ollie going to 3 balls on every batter, putting the leadoff hitter on, walking the pitcher, etc.
*Carlos Beltran throws to third in the 3rd, putting another runner in scoring position
*Willie brings Mota into a game at all
*Mets add to the 18 unearned runs they have given up behind their young impressionable, occasionally unfocused pitcher (by the way, if Pedro tells you to focus, you focus!)
Now, if this weekend isn't bad enough, the Mets decided to start Brian Lawrence against the Gnats tomorrow. I don't even want to think about this right now, but you can't like their chances.
"Consider the possibilities"
FIELDING
Errors: Lo Duca (8, throw), Reyes 2 (10, fielding, throw), Alou (2, fielding), Castillo (4, throw), Conine (5, fielding).
Fresh off of a game that the MLB decided not to share with national baseball fans comes a Mets game that we wish was never shown in public. Burn the tapes. Then light the torches and trap Guillermo Mota in a windmill. We can’t blame Ron “Mea” Kulpa or any of the umpiring staff. Nor can we blame Jimmy Rollins for his obvious use of witchcraft. Or voodoo as Gary suggested. The Mets are just flat out handing the Phillies a playoff spot.
I would flip out, but I’ve seen this so many times before I'm almost desensitized. Joe Smith, back in the majors, must have wondered if they sent him to the wrong team; surely this bunch of clowns isn't the big league club!
As for Mota, the Ass of the Mets, instead of burying him in the bullpen backyard, Willie just continues to throw winnable games down the shit hole. Willie defenders will point to the fact that the whole entire bullpen sucks. Yes, but Mota swallows. Unfortunately it seems that Willie is the last to know that Mota does not belong on a winning Mets team. Real Mets take performance degrading drugs, just ask Keith Hernandez! Just kidding, Keith, you know I love you.
At least that newly wed couple got a lot for their money. 3 hours of “Bad News Bears baseball” and… they got to see the entire Mets pitching staff to boot! The groom probably irrevocably compromised his marriage, but he got to touch Keith Hernandez and take a picture with the SNY booth. And all brides look hotter when they are Metsfans.
Why is this team so prone to losing its focus? It's a question Omar has to be asking himself as he tosses and turns in bed tonight.
The Mets Recipe for Disaster included:
Physical errors
*Moises Alou, a charter member of what Keith Hernandez termed the “One Hand All Stars” blows a catch in the out field.
*Castillo and Conine stinking up the right side of the infield
Mental errors
*Ollie going to 3 balls on every batter, putting the leadoff hitter on, walking the pitcher, etc.
*Carlos Beltran throws to third in the 3rd, putting another runner in scoring position
*Willie brings Mota into a game at all
*Mets add to the 18 unearned runs they have given up behind their young impressionable, occasionally unfocused pitcher (by the way, if Pedro tells you to focus, you focus!)
Now, if this weekend isn't bad enough, the Mets decided to start Brian Lawrence against the Gnats tomorrow. I don't even want to think about this right now, but you can't like their chances.
"Consider the possibilities"
posted by I.M. Forme @ 7:17 PM
2 Comments:
At 10:08 PM,
Jaap said…
I still say somewhere out there Guillermo Mota has a videotape of Willie shagging a cat or making love to Chipper Jones or something...nothing else would explain this stone-headed insistence on using the most abusable arm in the pen over and over again.
At 10:54 PM,
I.M. Forme said…
the mets are making us all look like fools. what other way to explain me suddenly referencing movies from the 70s and 80s that i dont even remember seeing?
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