It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Classic IMFM: Franology

Some combination of indolence, joy, and nostalgia lead me to reprint this post to honor Fran the Fan. As the guys at Faith and Fear in Flushing note in an excellent article, Fran spent a remarkable 22 years with the Mets! This prompts two feelings, one a wistful pity for a guy disposed of so summarilly, and the other indignation...i mean, i know it is the mets, but isn't anybody paying attention? If there is a longer period of uninterrupted ineptitude on the books, I can't think of it off hand. I know for sure that a few of us will feel a little less smugly superior watching games now. That's our Fran, the nicest think you could say about him was that he made everyone around him better. I 'd wish him well on his journey to that big day-game-after-a-night-game in the sky, but i'm not so sure he's going to broadcaster heaven. So as an honor and/or a slight, I re-present this lame post from the early days of the now venerable itsmetsforme blog. Needless to say, "Franology" inspired about as many followers as its object of study did.

So long Fran, and thanks for (being) the punchlines.

Originally posted, 8/26/05

I'm sure Fran is a nice guy and a likeable person in his private life. But professionally, he inspires legions of detractors. Why? That's just the question the science of Franology was developed to answer.

After years of research, our team has discovered that people find Fran annoying because of the things he says. It wouldn't even be fair to pick on him, except for the fact that he keeps talking.

Healy feels that it is a broadcaster's job to fill the air with innane observations. The folks at MSG have asked him to reference Ralph Kiner in every sentence, to keep Kiner from nodding off. This leads to some pretty surreal exchanges. But Fran doesn't need any supporting characters; he is insufferable on his own.

Am I the only one who's ears perk up momentarily when Fran's voice modulates from a cold or something, because I think it's a new broadcaster sent to end Metsfans' misery? Only to come crashing down when I realize, it's just the Heal with a head cold. Of course, when he really has a cold, his voice gets even worse, but he soldiers on, because that virgin airtime needs to be filled with blather, after all.

This post is dedicated to all that is Fran: from his catchphrases "frozen rope" and "day game after a night game" to his obsession with making dogs pay the cover charge at Shea on dog day, I want to study him, so that mankind can stop this great virus from mutating, stop this plague on our ears. So I introduce the Fran Healy Dictionary, open to all who have a phrase and its definition. Please enter in the comments section.


  • At 8:56 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    On Reyes: “He’s one of those wild stallions…you gotta be careful about taming him” (8/22 vs Ariz)

  • At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what is a "can of corn"?

  • At 10:42 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 10:46 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    "day-game-after-a-night-game": ritual saying, no meaning. chanted repetitively for no particular reason; original usage, to articulate the role of fatigue in the modern ballplayer's schedule. ex: "Cliff Floyd is playing great, day-game-after-a-night-game"; "I had a salad for lunch, day-game-after-a-night-game."

  • At 10:47 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    "frozen rope": noun. any, literally any, hit ball that is hit by a bat. used indiscriminately. Ball could also be thrown, as in thrown from ss to first, or tossed into crowd by 1st base coach.

  • At 10:02 AM, Blogger Youngblood said…

    I am finally in

  • At 12:33 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    welcome, YB, to whatever this is

  • At 6:33 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    "whale of a(n) X": a superlative used to describe nearly anything; as in, 'a whale of a first baseman'.

  • At 6:35 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    "can of corn": anything, particularly outfield catches, that is easily made, like Dwight Gooden's licence plate speeding away from the scene of a crime, or Tom Glavine's option.

  • At 9:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Come out to shea and watch Jose Reyes run!!!



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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.