It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, May 31, 2010

It Was Hard in the Beginning, But Mets' Dickey Refuses to Go Limp

Fun facts about Dickey:
On August 17, 2008, Dickey tied the record for most wild pitches in an inning, with 4.

Alright, I think I've gotten Dickey out of my system now.  Almost.  The Mets were able to salvage one blasted victory from another forgettable series.  This is the club we expect really, not the one that stole two series in a row from their main rivals. And, as has been widely reported, we can count the Mets GM, perfectly happy to snag that one game in each series, as a fellow traveler.
I want to formally propose here that if the Mets rotation looses any more members to injury or insanity (i.e. Mike Pelfrey), the management needs to take the opportunity to turn its energy to stocking the clubhouse with knuckleballers. What could be more appropriate for this clown-show of an organization? The Mets cannot win if they play fair, so I want to see knuckleballers in the rotation, bullpen, and hanging from the rafters.   Imagine what this would do for John Maine's fastball.

Just to show I'm not kidding, I will profile a potential acquisition here in this space.  Eri Yoshida, Japan's "Knuckle Princess" is doubtlessly availableThe only balls she has are knucklers. She has "dimples and a sidearm knuckleball."  She is now a professional baseball pitcher, which is more than I can say for Oliver Perez or Fernando Nieve.  It says here she has what it takes to be the next Kaz Matsui. End profile.  Omar Minaya needs to have Shinjo place an introductory call on behalf of the Mets, and make this happen.  More on this campaign later, but here's a potential motto: "The NY Mets: Knuckleballers on the Mound, Knucklehead's in the Front Office."

On to the real news of the day.  Managers often like to establish roles for their bullpen guys, to give them a sense of stability, of when and how they'll be used, or in the case of Jerry's Kidz, misused.  It looks like Jerry has hit upon Oliver Perez' role with the Mets in the aftermath of Doh'P's second refusal of a minor league assignment. Jerry plans to use him in extra-innings or "something like that."

In the best tradition of tabloid journalism, the Post has some tasty anonymous player quotes on this most recent Ollie disaster (suck it bloggers!):
When told that Manuel’s plan is to save Perez for extra-inning games, one of the Mets players laughed.
“What, we need another 20-inning game and then use him after we’ve used all our pitchers and if a position player’s sinker isn’t biting?” the player said.
Hahahahahaha. That's great stuff, Angel Pagan.  We know it's you.  Everything is better in life when there are players in a clubhouse willing to whisper cold truths to beat reporters. And what does Ollie have to say for himself?
“I want to stay here.”
The good news here is that the organization is finally in a spot where the reality of the state of Perez' suckitude (that's suckiness and poor attitude combined), and the enormity of the mistake it was resigning him, just cannot be escaped.

MLB Trade Rumors charitably tries to determine potential trading scenarios for Oliver Perez now that he's shit the bed while screwing the pooch. Perhaps the swapping of a really really bad contract?
Gary Matthews Jr.'s contract qualifies as equally bad, but he's already on the Mets.
Oh well, thanks for trying!

Watching Perez get what is coming to him promises to be one of the highlights of this season.  And I want to hear the announcement from Omar's mouth.
Several years ago, there was a lot of worry over David Wright's advertising partners.  For instance, should he or his representatives really be associating Wright's image with a "Reverend Dr." who endorsed exorcism and the drinking of fecal matter, among other things?  If you thought Dr. Jaerock Lee and the Salvation Miracles Revival Crusade was sketchy, get a load of the company Wright is keeping now! Indeed, post beaning David Wright may be sliding into old bad habits.
I refuse to post a picture of the "Situation" here.

Wright needs to get right at the plate, sure, but first he needs to look into new representation.

"Things I Can't Believe Didn't Happen to the 2009-10 Mets" Dept.
 I'm sure I am not the only one claiming that I have always been critical of the ridiculous regular season jump up and down celebrations on home plate, but I will still claim my piece of smug vindication pie.  Angels star Kenny Morales broke his fucking leg diving into one of these idiotic victory piles after beating the Mariners in May! So...I told you so.  Now stay posted for the player braining on the preposterous "Tal's hill" and pole in Houston's centerfield!
 Click this now while you still can!

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  • At 3:58 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Perez getting what's coming to him? Him getting sent packing with over 20 million more dollars won't do it for me. I don't blame him for getting as much money as he can and he did spend the winter purportedly at some sort of Arizona bootcamp, but refusing to take the minor league assignment? For what they're paying him, he needs to do what's best for the team - as the entire blogosphere and fandom is screaming from the rooftops. The problem is he's in the catbird seat. Only karma can take care of this freloader.

  • At 5:33 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    I would like to see his investments go down the shitter, though.

  • At 10:22 AM, Anonymous =( Met fan =( said…

    If it were up to me, I'd round up the villagers and torches and chase Ollie all the way back to May-hico. But since I don't get to call the shots on these types of things, the only solution I will accept is his swift release. It would also be nice if they could just throw the contents of his locker into the parking lot too, so he has to pick it all up while I laugh and video tape.

    And apparently making only the Mets an injury-filled spectacle wasn't enough, for now God has added Kendry Morales to my fantasy baseball DL, where he will join Nelson Cruz & Jacoby Ellsbury. Talk about being born under a bad sign.

    I'll wait for your next post to address last night's 18-run beatdown by the San Diego Fathers. Hope you had a good Memorial Day!

  • At 7:56 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    After 4 solid starts, I'm falling so much in love with this Dickey, I'm almost questioning my sexuality:)

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    In MY fantasy, Dickey is the MEts Tim Wakefield. Now all they need is a few grizzled veteran beards (Frenchy) and two aging roided out sluggers and they can be the 2007 Sawx!!

  • At 6:45 PM, Anonymous cverhashi said…

    Maybe Dickey is our Wakefield, if he can keep it up - he was great last night and Takahashi found his groove again tonight for an excellent start and finally two consecutive road wins. Is it time for us to have our hearts broken again or could this be for real?

  • At 7:31 PM, Anonymous Cver said…

    Mets 16-5 over the last 21 games - best in MLB. Nothing funny about that, hence no new posts from IMFM:) You'll find a way to amuse us, through the adversity of success, I'm sure! Besides, we're due for some major heartbreak - I know a setup when I see one - and with P'Dreadful as our setup man, not a tall order.

  • At 9:02 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    see my next post for a dose of irrational exuberance, Cver.


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