No Hall for Mr. "I Thought it was the Ball"

Pins and Needles, But Mostly Needles

There's a hilarious new AT&T cellular commercial, where like Rodger Clemens' wife calls her husband to ask if he is doing 'roids, and then there's absolutely no answer, just silence.

Is anyone else getting bored of this? I am beginning to suspect that ESPN distributed needles to MLB players the way they are exploiting this--come to think of it, the world wide leader did come about right around the same time. There are really no interesting angles left on this one. I mean everyone but Roidger himself has admitted that Roidger takes steroids. I almost called this blog, "Everyone Knows Clemens is a Juicer" but the url name was already taken. Roidger has remained silent so far, but I wonder if there is truth to the rumor he is considering just buying the Mitchell Report and the whole damn media with the spoils from that idiotic ginormous pro-rated contract he just finished extorting from the New York Spankees? Or maybe he'll just tell the media "he thought it was the ball." It was good enough for them last time.

Meanwhile the plot lines are as novel as a SportsGuy column. There is nothing new here. We all knew it all along. Clemens' World Series meltdown, Paul lo Duca's spiking the ball, and Lenny Nails Dykstra, well c'mon just look at him. I'm sorry for anyone who believed in Todd Hundley, really I am. Bud Selig looks as lame as ever. And it was pathetic to watch Tim Kurkjian and Peter Gammons, who seemed to be having another stroke on-air (maybe it was just his conscious), cover for the players on the so-called "Sports Center" tonight; these guys are so compromised by their connections in the MLB and its time everyone notices. Of course watching Steve Phillips suddenly reveal all he knew for the cameras was sickening.

What's more interesting is to speculate on what's coming. Or wonder who that mystery man is that spilt the beans to keep his name out of the report. I think I know who it was. But this 24 news cycle of Mitchell Report stuff, combined with no Johan Santana, is brutal.

Still, there is some fun to be had, especially for those of us who don't have to explain this to our kids. I admit, it's fun to hear the lawyers and other representatives for players complaining that their side of the story isn't being represented after they stonewalled Mitchell for months. Meanwhile, Billy Wagner doth protest too much, like he doth do everything related to speaking too much. Some people should really keep their mouths shut. On the other hand, maybe we need to start listening to others like Jose Canseco:

"I saw the list of players, and there are definitely a lot of players missing," he told Fox Business Network. "I don't know what they accomplished or what they are trying to prove."
Prodded further about players not included, Canseco said this of Alex Rodriguez: "All I can say is the Mitchell Report is incomplete. I could not believe that his name was not in the report."

It's fun to finally understand what it is that Omar Minaya saw in Sammy Sosa for all those years, now that Slammin' Corkin' Sammy is the single season HR king again. Our man at Can't Stop the Bleeding has the scoop of the century if you think about it. Take it away, CSTB:

While Clemens, Bonds, and John Rocker write their retirement announcements, Sosa has a Cooperstown acceptance speech to pen — once he relearns English, if I recall his Senate appearance correctly.

Speaking of speaking English, with the release of his name on the Mitchell Report, John Rocker is finally getting some good press. I notice his website* is not capitalizing on the happy occasion though you can check out his new single (search for JROCK49). Check out Johnnies "Headlines" section if you're doubtful that true ignorance still exists in the modern world. Equally fun is getting to read one accused juicer, David Justice, give advice to another:

"I've never seen Roger do anything nor have I ever had a conversation with him [about steroids]," Justice, appearing as a guest on the "The Herd" on ESPN Radio, said Friday. "He should be doing what I'm doing. He should be talking about it. If you really didn't do it, say something about it. At least have a conversation about it."

There's a show called the Herd? I wish we could spend some time talking about my Boston Celtics.



*I'm not sure what to make of this, but I'm kinda scared.