It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Metastrophe 2007: Is that Santa-na coming down the Mets Chimney?

Metsblog/SNY's Matthew Cerrone has come out today with the (inevitable) hotstove post, the Buzz: Santana wants to be a Met. Much like in the wonderful tales of the Juan-Gones, Martinez', Beltrans, and Zitos of cold winter's past, this event signals that we have almost arrived at the denouement of another off-season--if its a tragedy or romantic comedy has yet to be determined. It maybe that similar stories can be found on other less-than-impartial sites around the interwebs, ("Santana wants to be a Devil Ray" "Santana wants to be a Rockette"), but invoking Santa's blanket no-trade and hoped-for preference is a recipe for an internet feeding frenzy in Flushing fantasyland. That sound you just heard was not grandpa's bladder, it was hope springing eternal. Well played, Matthew, well played. Let's get frenzied!

Imagine a picture of Santa Claus with Johan Santana's face photoshopped on it, about here.

For a dose of reality, check out Michael Salfino's sobering assessment over at SNY where he shows that, rationally speaking Santana just isn't worth the price in prospects under the proposals currently being bandied about. What he writes is true, in a rational world. But that's not where we're at here: the rich Mets don't have an ace and us fans want one, so reason be damned. We bought our fan bricks and we demand to be enabled by/ hampered with a ginormous contract at the top of our rotation. As for the fallout of a potential deal, I love me some Gomez, and losing him, I prefer to continue to love me some F-Mart. So I don't want to lose them both. I'd prefer to lose Heilman (plenty o' parking in Minnesota buddy), and to keep Pelfrey in the Met's belfry. But if Omar can keep two of the four (Fmart/Gomez and Pelf/Humbie) on the farm, I'll stop sticking pins in this here doll. We have to like the way this story is going: Red Sawx and Yankers halfheartedly duel, no one pulls the trigger, and Johan's humble and rightful suitor sweeps in and saves the day.

That being said, what really needs to happen is for the rest of the rotation to somehow be inspired to learn to go deeper into games--hypnosis, nature outings, communal shaving of body parts--I don't care how it happens. This makes the bullpen stronger, as would a few more potentially golden free agent signings. Everyone knows the pen is a crapshoot from year to year, but why not work whichever young starters who a) are not sent to Minny and b) do not squeeze into the rotation, into the pen? Why not, dammit? I don't see how the offense got stronger, seeing as how LM will be having his ball cover-tearing break out season with the Washington DC crew, fitting in a monster year between drive-by shootings with his boy Elijah. But we could imagine the "young players progressing and old players recovering" scenario if we want. To me the 2008 offense hinges on one Carlos Delgado's righting the ship, and the media hasn't peeped about this once.

I wouldn't be me if I forgot to mention Los Angeles' recent signing of the Br*ve bozo Jason Stark once called the "Most Overrrated Centerfielder of All Time." I guess LA decision makers wanted a declining, girthsome showboat who will swing for the fences every time up, playing for himself at all times out there making snap catches in Chavez Ravine. It is soo the Dodgers to blunder like this; with all the young talent they have, and the last free agent they overspent on already playing in the outfield, they don't need Jwones at all. I guess they fell in love with his homers and so-called gold glove defense. Andrww Jownes may have a new address nearer to my home, but the smirky little butterball still gets my vote for most loathsome player in all of sports, other than Kobe Bryant of course (let's not get crazy). I just flat don't like the guy and I'm sure he will bomb in LaLa land. And I intend to savor it.

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  • At 7:30 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Most loathesome player in baseball - gee, a tough one. The first person who comes to my mind would be his brother Larry, who named Andruw's "niece" Shea. I mean, that's tough to top. Not only does he eternally mock the team that he bullies, but he cares so little for another living thing, let alone his own daughter, that he would name her in a manner resembling a bar bet. The guy just always looks like he's about to kick a dog.

    As far as Santana is concerned - What a Fucking Tease!

  • At 7:34 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    True, andruu isnt a red neck, spousal cheat, or a child abuser, THAT WE KNOW, but even if Larry is a classless lowlife, at least Chipple isn't a showboater. And Chipple is not overrated like andrww. So im still going with the Smirker for my hate parade, even though I encourage your hobby too. I like to be original with my hatred, so I got my list of most hated Br*ves like this:
    1) Brian Jordan
    2) Andrwuwuw
    3) Satan Smoltz
    4) Chipple

    You'll notice I am not ranking on their politics alone, otherwise you'd get a different ranking. You'll also notice that John Rocker isn't on there, and that's because I don't recognize him as a person.

    A list we ought to make while its still fun is a list of the players we would be most bummed if they turn up on the mitchell steroid list.

  • At 8:56 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    Easy enough - David Wright has to be at the top of that list.

  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger metsfanincincy said…

    Wouldn't it be more fun to make a list of Mitchell report hopefuls? For strictly selfish reasons I would hope for Lastings. Why? While it would bum me out to see it, it would also alleviate my burning desire to sew Omar's eyelids open and make him stare at the sun.

    But seeing Larry Jone's name on that list would be like a wet dream.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.