Operation Kansas City All-Stars

It has been suggested by one of the fine minds over at Metsblog (here's looking at you, Craig swan dive!) that we Mets fans subtley influence the ridiculously early All Star competition. Voting for an all Mets NL squad, no matter what? Been there. Voting for anyone but a Br*ve or Yanker? Done that. Writing in Stash over and over again? Ok, maybe that was just me. But let's take it to a new level, is what I'm hearing.

What has MLB done to deserve sabatoge? What, other than squeezing us out of town fans for every penny and every last emotion over the preposterous power play that was the DirecTV fiasco?

Allow me to remind you: letting anyone who wants to vote vote as many times as they like is a travesty. It's worse than a mere popularity contest, it puts power in the hands of those who least deserve it, those who have the time to vote over and over again. It's a mockery of democracy; what will our Iraqi friends think? But making homefield advantage contingent on the outcome of a exhibition game is a crime against baseball, the kind of crime that is Selig's specialty, incidentally.

But how to make sure we send the message loud and clear to Bud and his cronies?

STEP ONE: Go here to vote.

STEP TWO: Use Voter's Guide, below.

Ladies and gentleman, your 2007 All-Star Royals! The results must be unambiguous, we can't have a bunch of crappy players randomly representing the AL, then there's a chance Bud wouldn't even notice. He's not that sharp, you know. That's why we send the KC Royals to the All Star Game. Picture this: Jeter calling his car service the day before to cancel his trip to the airport when he realizes, he ain't even on the team!! Or if you have a conscience, just think of it as a protest against the evil regime of Bud Selig. Or, if you like, think of it as a protest against Barroid Bonds and the entire Giants organization that coddled/exploited him. Whatever gets you through the voting process.

AL
First base (R. Shealy)
Second (M. Grudzielanek)
SS (T. Pena)
Third (A. Gordon)
Catcher (J.Buck)
Outfielders (E. Brown, D. DeJesus, M. Teahen)

NL
Mets!

Rinse and repeat if possible.

STEP THREE: Evil laugh!!!
Not only have you done all you can to load Mets on the NL team, you just elected some very deserving Royals, enhanced the chances of the Mets having homefield advantage, thumbed Bud Selig's eye, and told Jeter to go suck it. Not bad for a 10 minute effort, eh?