Something's Fishy

Just say "NO" to the Marlins!

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Anyone else starting to feel sorry for the Phillies?

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Manny Happy Returns

The current April 23rd issue of the New Yorker has a Manny Ramirez profile almost worth the $4.50 cover price if you are not a subscriber. I think you can also get access here. Among the tasty tidbits in this story about the-man-who-could-have-been-Met:

Manny's baggy clothes style comes from his habit of borrowing other players' outfits from their lockers earlier in his career.

When Red Sox ex-GM Dan Duquette asked Manny why he would continue to stand in the batter's box after the umpire called ball four, Manny replied that he didn't keep track of the balls, or the strikes until he got two. "Duke, I'm up there looking for a pitch I can hit. If I don't get it, I wait for the umpire to tell me to go to first. Isn't that what you're paying me to do?"

Manny reportedly once requested a trade to Pawtuket, the Red Sox AAA team in Rhode Island.

Manny on the eBay grill fiasco: "I'm a businessman" and "I need the money."

Manny wants to go to China, which he saw on TV, so he can visit the "Prohibit City."

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Blast from the past

Here's Barry Bonds' take on what it means to be a wealthy African American baseball player, and what "pee" could mean. It's old news from but the outtakes from Bonds grand jury are still fascinating in the length's Barroid will go to lie.

In answers that sometimes rambled, Bonds sought to vouch for his trainer as a good and honest person who would never traffic in illegal drugs.

"Greg is a good guy, you know, this kid is a great kid. He has a child," Bonds said. At another point, he told the grand jury:

"Greg has nothing, man. ... Guy lives in his car half the time. He lives with his girlfriend, rents a room so he can be with his kid, you know?

"... This is the same guy that goes over to our friend's mom's house and massages her leg because she has cancer, and she swells up every night for months. Spends time next to my dad, rubbing his feet every night."

Bonds told the grand jurors that he had given Anderson a $20,000 bonus and bought him a ring after the 73-home run season. He also bought the trainer a ring to commemorate the Giants' 2002 World Series appearance. When a juror asked why the wealthy ballplayer hadn't bought "a mansion" for his trainer to live in, Bonds answered:

"One, I'm black, and I'm keeping my money. And there's not too many rich black people in this world. There's more wealthy Asian people and Caucasian and white. And I ain't giving my money up."

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Bonds also was quizzed about a document that said, "Barry 12-2-02, T, 1 cc G - pee."

A prosecutor asked, "Does that correspond to you getting, you know, growth hormones or testosterone or giving a urine test or anything of those things that you can recall from Mr. Anderson."

"T could mean anything," Bonds replied. "G could mean anything. And pee could probably mean anything."

Barry Bonds, a disgrace to the human race; something we can all agree on.

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Time to take on the D-Train and his Fish. The move to the warmer climate should hopefully help the Mets shake the stiffness and maybe lead to some more exciting games. Old Man Moises parting the left field bleachers was ok. But the most exciting thing about yesterday's easy victory over the Phillies was flipping over to watch the Br*ves nearly cough one up against the Gnats by way of Rent-a-player's 2 and 1/2 errors and Larry's misplay.

Is Stash wearing glasses in the field, but not at the plate? Hmmm. Seems worthy of investigation. The SNY guys are having way too much fun in the booth to be bothered with that detail. Also, they appear to be translucent librarian glasses.
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I retract my previous admiration for Hillary Swank, who by some reports, used valuable interview time in the latest issue of Esquire to wax about the Mets playoff demise. I picked up the issue at a bookstore, and it seems from reading it that she is a phony baseball fan. Who knows what publicist told her to go there in her interview or why. But she referred to runs as "points" or something like that. Too bad.