Nobody Here Can Play This Game

Jerry's Kids Snatch Defeat from Jaws of Victory; Sean Green Demands Trade When Prevented From Blowing Game Himself

I just got back from tonight's game. There are two ways to see this game, one that some are calling the most embarrassing performance in Mets history.

1. the Mets disrespect the very game of baseball

The highlights:
First inning, Tatis can't throw home from 15 feet away. And it could be added that Ramon Castro never saw a plate he blocked, unless you count Thanksgiving. Score one for the Dodgers.



Ramon Martinez, apparently the 3d or 4th best SS in the entire Met system (a cause for tears in itself) makes like 14 errors. At one point, he tries to catch a grounder between his breasts.

Sean (aka DFA) Green, frustrated that he can't seem to blow the game from the mound, decides he'll throw the ball into right field in the 9th. His efforts are foiled, for the time being, by Luis Castillo.

The artist formerly known as "Concusso," Ryan Church, who shall henceforth be known around here as Unbelievably F*cking Stupid Church (UFSC), missed third. Angel Pagan, who did everything he could to win this game except dress up as a Dodger, sneak into the LA dugout and cap Joe Torre, lofted a beauty into the centerfield gap to finally give the Mets a chance to win this accursed game. Then UFSC took the go-ahead run and he sh*t it out his ass. He previously almost got himself picked off of first for good measure. He likes it in Jerry's doghouse and wants to stay there. You can hear Vin Scully actually chuckle evilly if you watch the replay, because it was unfucking believable. Church's new level of persona non grata-tude raises an excellent trade opportunity: Lastings Milledge for Ryan Church, straight up.

Bottom of 11th, Stokes of course walks the lead off batter, like they teach you to. Beltran runs into Pagan who has called for and is trying to catch a routine fly ball, putting Mark Loretta on third with no outs. The bases load up, Crazy Jerry pulls the goalie (bringing in Beltran to stand by second so he has 5 infielders), the plan works... the Mets get a pop up and a easy grounder. But Jeremy Reed can't throw home and Jeremy Reed can't throw home. He can't throw home. He can't throw home. You can't go home again. Mets lose.

2. The game where Crazy Jerry Pulled the Goalie















Here's a picture, courtesy of ashamed Metsfan Keyser, of the five man infield defense Jerry threw out there in the 11th. If they had to lose, at least it was an innovative loss.

***


Even zombies Metsfans' heads exploded last night

This is a kind of season-defining loss. It's not that the Mets should have won. They certainly weren't sending their best players out there tonight. But the serial ineptitude, clusterfucked management, and players who refuse to get their heads in the game are the mark of the 2009 team. After the game, there was plenty of room under the bus. The beautiful way Jerry and Beltran have supported their teammates makes me wonder if this game won't drive the whole damn team apart.

Let's not forget Omar in all this. Bad news is everywhere. This team is in shambles. Carlos Delgado is, as ANYONE WITH A QUARTER OF A BRAIN KNEW, is old, broken and will likely have a harder time coming back from hip surgery than A-Rod, who took six weeks, did. How Omar could have thought he was the answer at first, or come anywhere near last season's production is beyond me. Jose Reyes is in rough shape and we should be worried, especially with his history of leg injuries. Alex Cora, the guy that Omar signed up at a hefty price to back up Reyes will be considering surgery on Friday that might keep him out two months.

If Jerry wants to be a gangsta, he needs to sit these gagstas down tonight to watch, as long as he is able to field a team. Green needs to sit, Church needs to sit (Jerry won't mind that), Beltran needs to sit, Reed needs to sit. Watch this game from the pressbox.