It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, June 02, 2008

D'oh P serves up a San Francisco Treat

Doh'P and ESPN do in Mets before they even start to flail

D'Oh P sucked it all right.

Oliver Perez gave a vintage performance--vintage Tom Gl***ne--tonight in a disturbing loss to the Giants: he contributed a fabulous 1/3 of an inning giving up a mere 6 runs to put the game immediately out of reach. And don't worry about Perez. Lil' Ollie was happy to skip off the field when Uncle Willie came out to hook him--there's video games and pop in the clubhouse! At least Victor Zambrano was upset that he sucked. I could spend more time pissing on Oliver but according to the NY Times this dope doesn't necessarily understand the kind of money he's pissing away:

Over his past three starts, Pérez has given up 15 earned runs in 11 1/3 innings as his earned run average has swelled to 5.70 from 4.25...The pitching coach Rick Peterson can work with him on staying focused and maintaining his arm slot, but nothing can change Pérez’s contract situation. Manager Willie Randolph has said several times that Pérez is not the type to dwell on his pending free agency and, by association, the millions of dollars he could be in line to earn.

He'd be nice to keep around, if the Mets didn't have to pay him. So a night after they looked so sweet, the BAD METS are back, all the awfulfense, all the Doh'P implosions, all the Heilman inefficiencies that you have grown to love or at least expect.

The fattest Molina and the cinder block hands of Ray Durham keyed the brutal attack of the fearsome Giants of San Fransisco land. Or maybe they didn't. The game was moot by the second inning.

Perhaps to allow Jon Miller and Joe Morgan to sleep in, ESPN forced the Sunday game into a late start, thus ensuring that the Mets, due in San Fran the next day, would have to fight through a jet lag fog to compete on Monday night. Oh, the odds they faced. They would have to overcome Mother Nature for pete's sake!

But for an alternative view, let's hear from metsfanmurph, a commenter on Metsblog:

Now I am going to have to hear Gary Cohen bitch and moan about the travel…… I don’t want to hear how tough it is to fly first class and get 10 hours of sleep to play a baseball game.
I have worked midnight to 8 and then had to be back into work at noon, so I don’t want to hear about how the Mets “dragged into San Francisco.”

I hear ya brother.

So we have to look forward to tonight's Zito-Pedro battle, where some $179 million of waste, give or take $13 mil. Let's be honest, at $53/4 years is too much to pay a clubhouse jester, even a very good one.



  • At 6:50 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    None other than the emminent Matthew Cerrone recently referred to and praised his readers as his editors. I am referring to Exhibit A:

    Don't expect to see that name on this site again, he is dead to me.

    But it was used well to make your point:)

  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    Pedro's more than clubhouse jester - he was instead cred the minute he signed - we all knew he was going to spend most of that contract on the DL but I still think it was the best move Omar made. It was what put the Mets on the free agent map again.

    I hear Zito's pitching is so bad because he develops these constant herpes chancres on his pitching fingers that Alyssa Milano gave him as a going away present.

  • At 11:30 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    Hey guys,
    I'm perfecting a new internet style over the last few days: be wrong about everything! From my use of the blasphemous moniker of one of the great free agent busts in recent memory, to my bumbling attacks on sacred cows such as the great art film Major League and Pedro Moneybags.

    Sorry Jaap, but watching Pedro flop around and goof in the Mets dugout like the mocking French guy at the top of the tower in Monty Python just before they launch a cow at the English has got me in an unforgiving mood. As a starting pitcher for the Mets,he has been a gritty rehabber. Even if the story we tell ourselves to get to sleep at night--that pedro was instant karma--is true, there are many other ways to get cred, my favorite being to win in a sustainable fashion. Fables about free agent maps aside, I think Wright and Reyes' emergence, piles of money for outbidding, and media hype have a lot more to do with the Mets so-called resurgence. And location and the opportunity to have desperate wads of undeserved cash thrown in one's face are the appeal of NYC. Just ask washed up self-important geezer who soft tosses for the Br*ves now.

    And I have a hard time believing that Jeter had nothing to do with Zito's herpes.

  • At 4:28 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    I hear that the pitcher who shall remain nameless will battle against Al Leiter in another matchup. No, not on a classic Mets replay on SNY, but for the VP spot with McCa*n.

  • At 4:59 PM, Blogger Jaap said…

    I like that Pedro is not the typical athlete zombie who just says the token phrases and gives you no sense of passion in his interactions with the media or the public. We all knew what we were getting in to and the dangers of Pedro not being healthy enough to merit the overall contract but I would want to see it done again if we were in a yesterday machine and we would rewrite what we originally thought about Pedro coming to the Mets. anyway, I was somewhere thereabouts:

  • At 5:02 PM, Blogger Jaap said…


    I couldn't access the link on my blog to yours so I had to find it by doing a google search. Yours was the top result but there was the thing at the top asking : Did you mean It's Me For Me?

    try it. trippy.

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    well Jaap
    I originally wanted to title this blog "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" but found that was taken.
    I followed a link off of your original link to obey pedro and wound up a a video. Check out the you tube of the cynical greedy humorless pointless ball grabber guy. He "wrote a book about getting balls."

    I agree, Pedro is a great presence when he is within 500 miles of the team that's paying him. By his own account, he felt he couldn't "lead" last year during the collapse bc he hadn't been around enough. That's dubious I think. He could have done a little leading last September.

    Cver, if Grunty Traitor Leiter was chosen for national office, the Mets would never get the breaks. He has a history of cutter and running (his mouth). the Mets would probably use that as an excuse not to go over slot in the draft. This thing i hear about not going over slot so they can curry favor for the all-star game is so much happy horseshit.

  • At 1:33 AM, Anonymous YB said…

    I was at the first two games in SF and I will say I have never seen a display of incompetence and giving in as OP displayed since my own first pitching experience at 13 when I actually begged out of a game after surrendering 4 or so unearned runs.
    As for tonight, AT&T was freezing but we stuck it out until the sixth and thought Pedro was done, Willie left him in and there was quite a bit of rumbling about not pulling Pedro. He got his win which is excellent. Not cool that the giants scored again.
    Now they need to get 5 more in a row on this trip.

  • At 10:00 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    yb i thought of you suffering thru the OP start and felt bad for you, until i realized you probably kept yourself amused/warm by lighting cigars with $100 bills and drinking the fine scotch in your smuggled flask.

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger Brian said…

    The Red Sox got Clay Bucholtz as their compensatory pick for Pedro in 2005. I would much rather have Clay Bucholtz right now than Pedro Martinez, who has not started more than 50 games, I believe, in four years. This of course, is the difference between having a GM who knows what he is doing and Omar Minaya.

  • At 6:36 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    The NY Mets conclude their series against the Padres today with Pedro Martinez on the mound. Two-one or not Two-one? - that is the question!

  • At 4:45 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Another sickening display, although today they didn't look too bad until the fateful Clark HR. Ramon Castro overslept too - not sure if that was a factor, but I would guess something needs to be done about that, besides being benched and fined, but not sure. Not even sure I can blame Willie for this series. Just awful. Make me laugh, please!!!

  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    I'm here in NYC, on location as it were. It is unbelievably fucking hot here. Today I said hello and goodbye to Yankee stadium--it's no Shea stadium--and got treated to 9 innings of magic. The Royals beat them on a blown save and that was the only thing NOT miserable about the day. The fans were pretty well behaved I have to say, but the heat might have had something to do with that. Be back soon.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.