It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Mets Win NYC Gagging Rights for the Day

Met fan contemplates the Subway Series.
(pics swiped from this hilarious site)

Emma at Eephus Pitch couldn't have described this season's Subway Series any better: "Resistible Force vs. Movable Object." When the mediocre Mets meet the last place Spankers, someone has to lose. Unless Bud Selig is involved, there are no ties in baseball. The sad-sack Mets managed to eek out a W from the tail-spinning, Arod-less Spankers. Bragging rights have given way to gagging rights.

I can't say I went into the game with a positive mindset. Even though the Mets have a winning record and are in the thick of the NL East race, Mets fans are currently having their tailgate parties out on the ledge. As usual the so-called MLB "Extra Innings" declined to carry this game although Faux Network didn't even feign interest, and they didn't call their national customers to apologize. And listening to the YES broadcast was so painful, you can understand why Paul Simon bought tickets to the game to avoid listening to the mindless prattle.

When Super Terrific Derek (STD) took Johan Santana yard right off the bat, so to speak, I started to make the move from "fed up" to "disgusted."* I mean, the Mets can get the best pitcher in baseball, overcome adversity, call meetings, feign unity, but still Jeter or Larry will be there to deflate them. The Mets looked to be in more trouble than Nelson Figueroa is with Jenny Finch.

Mindless base running is a key indicator of the problems Mets have keeping their heads in the game, committing personally to help this team win. After another "senor moment"-- the second inning pick off of Moises Alou--I started the shift from rooting for the Mets to just rooting against the Yankees. I'm not proud of this, but it's easier on my heart.

Then the semi-remarkable happened. The ball started to bounce in favor of the Flushing Folks and the Mets overcame the built-in baseball god Spankee biases. Brian Schneider revives his reputation as a defensive catcher by blocking the plate from notorious pansy Johnny Traitor, not enough to make us forget about the Jesus becoming a phenom for about $10 million less in DC, but it was the kind of heartbreaking play the Spanks usually use to stomp us.

The Spanks were up to their old baseball god manipulating tricks, but even these didn't work. Bottom of the sixth, the second base ump Alfonso Marquez makes a safe call followed by an out call on STD as the Captain heroically tried to stretch a single into a double. Problem was, STD never even touched the bag. How could he be safe without occupying the bag? Did Jeter call time out as he slid into the bag? The only things that can explain Marquez' initial default safe call are ineptitude or the Steinbrenner checks he cashes to feed his secret gambling habit. Either way, Marquez should be disciplined and ridiculed.

But are we Mets fans overreacting?

You knew it had to happen, as Santana tired in the 8th, the Mouth from the South got the call to pin down the 4 out save, something squarely within his job description. Would the poetic injustice continue? Eighth inning so far so good. Joe Girrardia brings in the super hyped Joba and Buntran smacks a triple--could this be the Mets day? With a key chance to tack on some runs in the top of the ninth--a man on third and one out--Alou struck out looking on a pitch that looked outside (YES demurred to show us the overhead camera view) to bring up Delgadoh! And wouldn't you know it, Carlost got the job done, wacking Joba's offering down the first base line to plate Beltran. Then in the ninth, after letting two guys on and bringing the tying run to the plate, Wags struck out the immortal Morgan Ensberg on six pitches and evil was turned away once again.

The Mets 13 hit attack was paced by (gasp!) the top and middle of the line up. The ball bounced their way. Tonight we can party like its 2006. Bottom line, the Mets got the win they needed badly, and I can back away from the ledge a bit.

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Will a Subway Sweep be enough to save the Mets season?

*(can you locate yourself on this helpful scale?)

The 2008 Metfan Sanity Scale
not as happy as I could be
not thrilled
fed up
reciting rosary
Lo Duca
gone to safe place
danger to others
lose control of bodily functions
wake up with blood on hands and no memory
danger to myself
move to cabin to facilitate rage
new Royals fan

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  • At 4:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It kind of looked like Kylie Fartsworth was auditioning for a spot in the Mets bullpen today.

  • At 6:03 PM, Anonymous cvertana said…


    I really enjoyed this post as usual. One question - Joe Girardia - please explain. Bottom line is: Stop the Presses Mets Win. More importantly, they managed to beat a last place team. Let's just hope they don't get into last place, because then they would finally have the practice they need to beat themselves. Santana giving up 3 HR's is a concern - 11 this season, I think it was. But, let's enjoy a win for a day and hope the good Ollie shows up tomorrow night.

  • At 11:33 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    I was thinking something similar--the Spanks did everything the Mets usually do--trading places. The Jacket had to stop himself from instinctively visiting the mound to lay some hand on shoulder, and Farnsworth was seen slipping Omar's cell phone number into his blackberry.

    Well Cver, then there's still time for you, so long as you haven't gone LoDuca, you can still recover to lead a healthy life.

    "Let's just hope they don't get into last place, because then they would finally have the practice they need to beat themselves."
    It's like a philosophy question, except for the mets routinely beat themselves when the opposition isn't up to the challenge.

  • At 2:04 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    After they "only" scored 3 in the third when Petitte was trying to give them the bloody game I thought fuck, this is it, another game chockablock with blown opportunities with men on base. But yeah, the mystical spirits of NYC baseball turned this in the Mets' favour for a change - maybe this is just the results of Steinbrenner selling his soul to Satan all those years back...still with Perez taking the mound tonight I'm not holding my breath for a two-game winning streak.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.