Straight outta Billerica!

The pressure was on the Mets tonight, both because the Br*ves and Phils both won earlier in the day, and because who could take another night of Glavine family eye-rolling. If he lost his second attempt at the 300th victory, the guys in the dugout would know he was pissed. But Toothless mostly got his batting practice stuff over the plate and over the home plate umpire’s generous strike zone. 6 hits and a handful of runs over 6 and 1/3 innings. I was ecstatic to see Tomahawk pitch tonight, not so much to watch him and his wife reach his personal, non-team goals, but because this means he won’t be facing the Br*ves this week in what may be the most important series of the season. Since he left Atlanta, Glavine has lost 300 times to the Br*ves.

The game was called, more or less accurately, by the affable nitwits on ESPN Sunday baseball. They were unimpressed by Castillo tagging up and taking second on the center fielder, a play I can't remember seeing before. The highlight had to be known bigot John Smoltz’s semi-congratulatory call into the booth. And the boys managed not to say “Derek Jeter” all night. But put it this way, it ain’t Joe Morgan’s brain that is enshrined in the Hall of Fame.

Offensively, the Mets were paced by the majesty and occasionally ill-advised daring that is Lastings Milledge, and Carlos Delgado’s 4 RBI’s. Moises Alou was uninjured. An early turning point was when Sorriano got thrown out at third coming up lame as he turned second. This killed the Cubs rally. Mota and the Mets bullpen would try earnestly to give those runs back, but the Cubs just couldn’t get it done.

Late in the game, they were dropping like flies. The home plate ump shook off a concussion. Castillo after a nice game was pulled in the 9th on account of heat exhaustion, so Ruben Gotay faced Ryan “Run” Dempster for him and grounded out. Also suffering from heat exhaustion was Glavine’s mom, who I swear did not move a single facial muscle the entire game. She made Bud Selig at Bond's games look like Krusty the Clown. In the Cubs 9th, Shawn Green did his best Mark Delerosa and let a catchable ball sail over his head. But Countrytime was able to bury the baserunner like he has burried male pattern baldness and wrap up the game.

So the MLB’s week of selfish stars was brought to an end by Glavine, the least selfish and most admirable star of the three Barroid Bonds, pAy-Rod, meeting his personal milestone. Br*vo, Mr. Glavine, Br*vo!

Bring on the tough talkin Br*ves!