It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Pitchers, Catchers, etc.

Who's up for a little Yankme bashing?

Pitchers and Catchers Report
Yankees surround Carl Pavano for an introductory beating to start Spring camp.

This just in: Y*nkees bash themselves. After being unceremoniously and indisputably displaced by the Mets as New York's best and most popular team last season, the N.Y. Yankmes are so-far spending this Spring productively, dissing their elders (Bernie Williams invited to camp as bullpen catcher and emergency peanut vendor) and eating their own Carl Pavano for breakfast. With the Red Sox distracted over whether they should offer a "fat" Daisuke Matsuzaka postage stamp, Steinbrenner wearing diapers and mumbling to himself, and the joy-riding general partner Steve Swindal unavailable for guidence, the Spankmes are forced to destroy themselves. It's sad, really.

Veteran Yankers (who have not sniffed a World Series since they stole victory from the Mets in 2000) such as Mike "Moosemouth" Mussina and Posada have been all over Pavano's shit, classily criticizing the sore-assed pitcher through the media. If adding Doug Mientkiewicz to the club wasn't a clear enough sign of the coming Bronx apocalypse, then maybe this will convince doubters.

Great to see this kind of early dissention in the Spankees camp. Takes the edge off reports that many major league GMs pick the Yankers to win it all this season.

Philosophical Department:

If a Roidger Clemens plays coy about retiring, and there is no media around to hear it, does it continue to happen?

Recent quotes:
“I still told [my son Koby who's head I threw at] 80-20 that I wasn’t going to play.”
“I don’t want to play.”
“If somebody stubs their toe and my phone rings in May, I might have to think about it.”

80-20. No one cares, freakshow, no one cares.

Rules Changes Department

Also in the New York Times:

NEW RULES FOR BASEBALL A major league position player who scuffs or defaces a baseball would be ejected and receive an automatic 10-game suspension under several changes approved by the sport’s playing rules committee, the first rule changes in the sport since 1996.

In other news, Kenny "the Gambler" Rogers announced his retirement while viciously beating a photographer to death.

DirecTV Update:

According to Richard Sandomir of the New York Times , John Kerry yesterday announced thatthe Senate Commerce Committee, the committee that oversees the televised carriage of sports, would hold a hearing on the pending MLB-DirecTV collusion. But the the hearing will not take place for several weeks because of the committee’s schedule, so with pitchers and catchers upon us, still no word as to how these hearings would affect consumers, or as to when the MLB will have any announcements for fans wondering how they will watch the games for that matter.

Over at Yahoo Finance, Ben Silverman's take on the deal is worth reading, if only for his quote of DirecTV CEO Chase Carey, who told analysts earlier this week that reports about the deal have been "mostly speculation." According to Silverman, there is more to the potential deal than just greed and stupidity. Silverman's argument is a version of the argument, that MLB wants to drive consumers to their "successful" internet service, but he points to the value of the online venture as a whole, and the possible offering of MLB Advanced Media's IPO:

Major League Baseball Advanced Media ("MLBAM"), the online arm of MLB, has been wildly successful. The unit has built the most compelling online offering of any professional sports league; integrating video, audio, blogs, real-time scores, stats, and reams of other content. MLB.TV, which offers a more robust package of games than Extra Innings, is a hit (1.3 million subscribers in 2005, according to New York Magazine), and last year, over 20 million tickets to baseball games were sold via and team websites. It's not just baseball that MLBAM is involved with.
MLBAM's back- and front-end technology helps powers websites and streaming technology for organizations ranging from Major League Soccer and CBS Sportsline, to the City of New York and rock band Guns N' Roses. MLB can't guarantee a steroid-free game, by they'll keep your streaming video up and running!
If MLB has done nothing else right in the past 50 years - and let's be honest, the only other thing they've done right in the past 60 years was integrating the game - they've done the Web right.

Finally, an interesting tidbit, or at least a reminder of how fans are just pawns in a game we don't understand, can be found over at, which speculates that Dish and DirecTV are rumored to be buyout candidates of interest to AT&T Inc. as quick ways into the video business, noting that DirecTV has been on the auction block several times in recent years. Well, DirecTV doesn't come off sounding like a solid bet for MLB--and since my local cable here in Los Angeles is provided by AT&T, which just bought Comcast, which owns a part of the Mets television channel, I look at the prospects of being shut out of Mets broadcasts by the very quasi-monopolies that are integral to broadcasting the Mets with something approaching befuddlement.
Bite me, Bud.

Problem Solved

Scott Schoeneweis

Courtesy of this lovely picture, pinched like everything else in this post from the new Bats blog at the New York Times website, I offer a solution to the spelling nightmare that is the Mets' new free agent relief pitcher. Should he become noteworthy, I'll just use this picture instead.

For example,

"The key to yesterday's game was when Scott Schoeneweis came in to relieve Tom Glavine, who contributed his 9th straight 4 2/3 inning no-decision effort, and retired the side in order."

That seems to work.

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.