TALE of the TAPE: comparing geriatrics, or why the Br*ves always win
Gerald "Ice" Williams
Born: 1966
Career Ave: .255
Mystical ability to get in Willie Randolph's line up
Good Team Guy
Blew Pedro's no-hitter against the Dodgers
Best year, average-wise, came when he was with the Br*ves in '98
Hopes to make it to early bird special
VS.
Julio "Undead" Franco
Born: 1958
Career Ave: .300
Mystical ability to get key hits against Mets
Good hitter
Traded soul to the devil
Many of his best years, with Br*ves
Hopes to make it into the Hall of Fame
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